Lies atau penipuan?

Semua orang menipu di dunia nie.. Lebih kurang semua laa.. Aku x taw klu ada orang yang langsung tidak menipu d dunia nie... Aku rasa tidak ada orang yang seratus peratus jujur di dunia ini... Tapi kenapa kita menipu?.. untuk melindungi? melindungi diri sendiri dan melindungi orang lain?....

Aku cuba bercakap jujur dan tidak menipu kerana menipu bermakna kita perlu bersembunyi. Tidak bersembunyi bermakna kita perlu menghadapi semua yang dihadapkan kepada kita. Kesakitan atau kelegaan jiwa dan raga...

Menipu untuk melindungi orang lain daripada kesulitan. Atau menipu supaya orang mendapat kesulitan kerana dengki yang timbul di hati. Menipu supaya tidak perlu menghadapi kesulitan... Tetapi diri tidak dapat maju kerana kerap bersembunyi.. tetapi menipu supaya jugak tidak memusnahkan diri....

Sebelum ini aku mahu semuanya jujur.. Tetapi kini aku tahu yang menipu jugak adalah sesuatu yang perlu... Tetapi perlu menipu di waktu yang tepat dan patut.. akan ku menipu untuk melindungi diri daripada musnah dan menyakiti orang lain..

Aku tidaklah seratus peratus jujur...

tipu? .. tipu tidak akan kekal lama.. rahsia akan terbongkar akhirnya jua.. Dan apabila terbongkar, ia akan memakan diri kita.. kemungkinan lebih dari sebelumnya.. tetapi mungkin juga kurang... tetapi siapakah yang akan tercedera? diri sendiri... atau orang lain? .. dan apabila terbongkar.. hilanglah sebahagian kepercayaan orang kepada kita.. sebahagian.. ataupun semua.. Kepercayaan.. lain topic..

Aku balik-balik ponteng kerja.. Cakap: di tempat kerja tapi di sana panggung wayang, ataw rumah makan-makan, last-last kedapatan oleh bos. Aku buat dono ja la.. Trust hilang, skang aku terpaksa ulang-alik ke office untuk sign setiap 1 jam.. anthen lepas 1 jam 1 jam sign skarang ni kena tambah pulak setiap 1 jam mesti thumbprint.. awgawd.. Panas telinga dan jiwa bagagar

Another part of my life!

Sooo starting bulan lepas, for some reason I start bitching around not caring bout anything for a while. Tapi lepas tu, aku start caring back bout what is happening. Masa tu la dia menggigit balik. Naa apa kaw rasa~~~? Oren? Ramai sakit hati pasal aku, aku pun x taw maw cakap ataw buat apa utk mengcorrectkan keadaan. The good thing is I don't feel quite alone anymore. .. another bad thing: I feel like real bad person. Im a byitch!!.. But I guess it's not as bad as feeling alone in the world.. I am sorry thoooo for the people that I hurt.. And I am really-really sorry for all the money that I wasted. Akakaka X-D just kidding.. But It has been fun. ^^

Discriminate because of hate. -genderism.. why blame it on gender? Begini la dunia.. We hate, we love,... but there is nothing we humans can do. We can't even walk, can't even breath, talk, see, hear, can't even live on our own. Everything is not ours. Its only borrowed. Everything is impossible for humans. Everything is possible only for god. Hating other because you hate yourself. You can't achieve or get something because you are just incapable. You don't want to blame yourself so you blame others? why do we do that? Seeing your friends happy and you get jelous. Then you spread bad rumours just so you would feel good... Why do you get jelous for the wrong things? I am not mad or angry.. I am just confused O_O ... I pity this world. I feel sorry for everything....

Love, cinta.. Friends... It's hard to tell people that you just want to be friends. It's hard to tell people that you don't feel the same way. It's hard to stay friends when you feel the pain of heartache.. Who is strong enough? It's hard to stay thin when you eat too much!! It's hard to get a great body when you are too fucking lazy to work out! Akakaka X-D

No activity recently. Just depression. I need to go out once more... and see the bright day sky

Breath heavy but slower than usual. Heart is heavy and hurting slowly. Mind can't think of anything else. Act I cannot because I don't know what to do. Friends, I don't think they can help. Friends, are the source of my pain. Friends, that don't want me around them.

Don't know what to do. Nothing that I can say. Nothing I am nothing. I am nothing. A nuisance. An abomination. I am a mistaken creation. Peace would become if i were to begone. But my body would rot and still be nothing to the earth as I am poison.

Still I hope and hope and hope because I can't take the heartache of being alone. My soul screams for someone to love me! Someone beautiful that my eyes would never stop staring. But a big part in my heart telling me, I'll always be alone forever...

I'm 23 and turning 24 later May. I've live a quarter time of human lives. Still I don't understand life. Are we created to live and suffer until we die? I've lived almost 24 years but I've never truly known happiness. Is happiness just a myth that is just supposed to be pursued but not reached? Is there goodness that humans lay down to this earth? Is god even real? God created everything. God created us and all the goodness, badness within us. We are suffering now in earth but we shall suffer even more after life. God created me so he created the thought in my mind to think this. But it is a sin to think like this. I've been planted the thought that I would go to hell after life. But it is still a quarter hell in my life. Seeing things that god make me wants. Trying to not want it but can't help it. Want it real bad and as I try to get, I was shot down. Dead but not dead. Crying and frustrated, I throw everything I see. I hurt everyone I love. Still knowing they don't love me. Life is pain but dying is not prohibited. The pain I feel now is more than the pain of a knife cutting through my skin and flesh.